The Floss
“The floss” is about a year past its true viral phase, which means it’s just now reaching me. The floss is a dance, sorta. Or a dance move. For a little while, I didn’t know what it was called so it was the “weird arm hip thing dance,” but google eventually corrected that. Yes, I looked it up, first because it was just so absurd looking, and second, that secret, only-at-home side of me wanted to learn how to do it.
This began at the end of last spring. The first time I saw it I honestly laughed out loud, totally perplexed by it. In addition to this strange, almost optical illusion side-to-side sway with stiff arms, there is another crucial feature: a completely deadpan expression. The movement paired with the face is just spectacular, a combination of silliness and seriousness to create perfect irony. Sarcasm of the body. It’s a flawless and sophisticated display of juxtaposition, though they’d never know it. But doesn’t the most successful art come from an inexplicable place? If you’ve ever seen someone do the floss, “art” is probably not the first word to your mind, but I really believe there’s a certain amount of genius to it, accidental as it may be.
In my opinion, the floss is more artful than past viral dance moves. I come from a time of “the sprinkler” or “the lawn mower” or, regrettably, the macarana. Those were the moves we pulled out at dances because it was a lot easier to look dumb on purpose. “The cabbage patch,” “the running man,” “the shopping cart.”
Now, I’m not sure if it’s because I’m sorely out of viral dance move practice, but the floss was harder for me to learn than the other ones. By far, the hardest part is keeping that deadpan expression. It also took a surprising amount of coordination and rhythm to look so ridiculous. That’s the art of it.
Since everyone has an only-at-home side of them, the floss is well worth a try. It’ll make you laugh and embarrass your children. Double fun.
"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you laugh.
Signing off, Schoolyard Eagle Eye"